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In a tragic tale of woe from campus, thousands of freshmen from all fields of study have been reportedly applying to work at Rita’s Italian Ice locations in droves after failing to secure summer internships. With nowhere to work for a whole three and a half months, freshmen are finding themselves resorting to stereotypical summer jobs more than ever.

The devastating impact of rejected internship applications has been particularly brutal this year, with more freshmen reporting working for slightly more than minimum wage this summer than any other. “I just don’t get it,” said freshman public policy major and Rita’s employee Ivy Trihard. “I’m just as worthy as everyone else to get an internship for this summer! I have a whole year’s worth of college experience! My skills are wasted on these Blendinis.”

Not only are freshmen unfortunately doomed to find work at Rita’s, but many of them have been reported scrounging pitiful jobs as lifeguards, grocery store cashiers, and summer camp counselors. On a lighter note, the nationwide lifeguard shortage plaguing pools last year is now replaced with a surplus of miserable new staff.

“I could be sitting in a nice, air-conditioned office behind a computer right now, but noooooo. Mom says I have to find work as a sweaty summer camp counselor.” says soon-to-be computer science major Idon Goutside. “None of these kids know about League of Legends. They just want to talk about Roblox and Bluey like plebs.”

Studies have shown that over 99% of freshmen have not secured themselves summer internships for this upcoming summer, with the remaining 1% bragging about it in pretentious LinkedIn posts. In other news, Internet searches for “Do employers hate me?” are up 200% compared to recent months.

It seems as if most freshmen are left to the mercy of pickup jobs as employers squander their months of experience. A truly tragic development.